Stress Management Techniques: Lifestyle Changes That Will Bring You Peace
In the previous post, we discussed some strategies to minimize stress when
you are already stressed out. However, it’s also important to look at ways of preventing
stressful situations before they happen. It’s tempting to take on too much when
you’re a Type A personality, highly ambitious or a perfectionist. In order to
avoid burnout or excessive stress, you’ll have to make some lifestyle changes
that will benefit you in the long run.Say “no” more often, and learn to embrace your boundaries
Most of the stress we suffer is because we take on the
responsibility of pleasing everyone else, and put ourselves last. We think that
handling everything ourselves will make us more respectable. We think that
taking on everyone else’s burdens is somehow noble.
But really, you’re only allowing yourself to be treated
badly. You’re allowing people to take advantage of you and not to take
responsibility for their own lives. If you are taking on too much, and doing
things for people that is beyond reasonable expectations, this usually shows
them that you don’t respect yourself enough to say no. Saying no is a way of
setting boundaries and caring for yourself in the process. If you continually
do things that you don’t want to do just to please other people, who are you
really living your life for? Is the approval really worth the resentment or
burnout that it will lead to? Do the opinions of these people really matter
that much in the bigger picture of your life?
Setting good, clear boundaries can be incredibly liberating
and empowering. You start to show yourself respect and tell people that you’re
worth being respected.
You might start by telling your colleague that you won’t
take any calls after hours about work that could be handled the next day,
because this is the time you spend with your family. You might tell your grown
son that you won’t buy him a new car which he could save up for himself. By
doing these things, you’re also helping these people take responsibility for
their own lives, and you’re empowering them to take pride in what they do
instead of just leaching off of you. You’re also showing them and yourself that
you’re someone who deserves and demands respect, and you won’t allow people to
walk over you.
Don’t take on more stress than you need to in your life. Set clear boundaries about what you’re
willing to take on, and don’t allow people to step over these boundaries.
You’ll have much less stress saying no right now than you will having to deal
with years of being used by others.
Get rid of stress triggers
There are certain things that cause you stress in your life
that you could cut out of your life completely. Take away any stress triggers
that you can and replace them with things that make you feel peaceful and
relaxed.
For example, it might make you feel very stressed to work
out at your gym. You might feel intimidated or frustrated by your surroundings.
You need to get rid of this stress trigger and find a new place or a new way to
work out. Maybe take walks in your nearby park instead, or go jogging. Maybe
buy some equipment and work out in your living room. Don’t continue to put
yourself in a stressful situation if there are ways around it.
These triggers also include people who stress you out. If
they don’t add to your life, they’re simply not worth keeping around if they’re
making your life more difficult. You might have a friend who makes you feel
drained, miserable and stressed whenever you hang out. Is this relationship
really worth holding on to? This doesn’t refer to people just going through a
tough time, but rather to someone who constantly brings negative energy,
expectations, criticism or stress into your life. If you really find that this
person doesn’t add value to your life, but rather sucks your energy, it might
be time to cut them loose.
It might not always be possible to avoid this person, so if
this is the case you need to try and change how you perceive them. Try and
build your relationship with this person and let them know how they are
affecting you sometimes. If the relationship is worth it, they’ll be willing to
make compromises.
When you identify stress triggers in your life, try and find
ways to either get rid of them completely or change your relationship with
them.
Let go of your expectations
There is no need for things to be perfect in life. Things
will almost never work out exactly as you plan. Your own expectations and the
expectations of others don’t really matter when you’re doing your best. When
you can embrace this, it could be life-changing. This is one shift that could
save you an incredible amount of stress.
Letting go of expectations means that you accept things the
way they are. You don’t obsess over the few things that went wrong or didn’t go
the way you planned, but rather focus on the fact that you’re still here and
there are more chances tomorrow.
You can definitely be disappointed
for a while, but instead of being stuck in your failures or disappointments,
you can rather learn from them and move forward.
Giving up on being perfect, and giving up on expecting
others to be perfect, can give you a lot of peace and harmony in your life.
This also applies to things that have already happened that
you might still be upset about, or the way that people have hurt you in the
past. While you have every right to be upset over this, holding on to a grudge
will only hurt you in the long run when the person who has hurt you has long
forgotten it. Thinking about that person or the hurtful incident for years
afterwards will only hold you back from peace in your life. You need to try and
forgive and let go of resentment that you might have towards other people. This
is a major source of stress, and often you’re the one left suffering because of
something that someone else has done. Don’t be their victim any longer. Take
your own life back.
Let go of your need to control things that are outside of
your control, and your stress will diminish.
Change your focus
Instead of always focusing on the stressful parts of your
life, even when you can’t change these, try to refocus on things that are
positive more often. Positive thinking might sound like it minimizes the
struggles you are going through, but it doesn’t need to. It’s simply a way of
noticing the good and being happy about it more than you choose to focus on the
bad. Focusing on good things lowers your stress levels, while obsessing over
bad things that you have no power over, or that have already happened and can’t
be changed, will simply cause you unnecessary anxiety and stress.
Find things to be happy for in your life every day. Go out
and make your happiness happen. Find
good things to focus on and weave them into your life.
Also remember that your hard work and moments of stress
right now are worth it because they are taking you closer to your goals. If
you’re doing a job that you’re passionate about and doing things you believe
in, the stress is simply a sign that you care about what you’re doing and you
want to do it well. Focus on your objectives and remind yourself why you are
doing what you are doing. Maybe you’re working so hard to provide for your
family. In that case, focus on the love for your family that is making you work
so hard instead of simply resenting the hard work all the time.
You deserve peace, happiness and fulfilment in your life.
Don’t allow stress to define your story. I hope that these strategies give you
some motivation to build a new relationship with stress in your life.
It isn't stress that makes us fall - it's how we respond to
stressful events.
Wayde Goodall
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